Beam me up Scotty! I can’t believe what is unfolding with the lowly Royals. Move over Maury Wills and Lou Brock here comes Joey. The Royals haven’t won a game on shear speed since Willie Wilson excited the city with his long 7 step stride to second. Cudos to the GM for recognizing speed, something his sortsighted predessors ignored for the last 20 years. What a discovery, we just might have the beginnings of a real baseball team right here in Kansas City!

Jason Winlock asked Buddy about Joey, “Does he have the green light?”
Buddy responded “Yeah, everyone has a green light.”
Jason,”I know but did he go to second on his own?”
Buddy, ” Second? There was a blur out there between first and second. Was that what that was? I was more excited about Riske in the seventh can we talk about that?”
Jason, “No, It has been a while since we have seen such blinding speed. Was he on his own when he bunted for a base hit?’
Buddy, “I don’t know, that’s the coaches responsibility, was that the blur I saw going to first? How about that Riske keeping us in the game?
Jason, “Your right Buddy we haven’t seen that in 20 years either.”

The Kansas City Royals, proud owners of the second worst record in both leagues bashed the LA Angels last night, proud owners of the second best record in all of baseball. The 12-4 victory guaranteed the Royals a series victory, the first against the Halos in 9 times. The Royals, leaders in hit batters with 49 so far got hit by pitches 3 times last night. When asked why would anyone bother throwing at the lowly Royals Buddy Bell commented, ” We haven’t hit, or been a threat for the last 3 years so we coaxed the hitters to stand closer to the plate and look meaner and spit more. We have been trying to get on base and thought if we at least looked intimidating something might happen. Apparently the pitchers don’t like the way we stand at the plate and have been hitting every one. So far it’s worked out well for us. We can get a .167 hitter on base now.”

The Royals are using basically 4 rookies in their line up. One of them, the fastest man in baseball Joey Gathright, tried to score from third on a short pop up to second. He got thrown out at home or the Royals would have had another run. When Bell was asked why he didn’t send Gathright to third on a potential double steal he said ” It was too obvious to steal in that situation, Joey would have made it standing up. The other situations were more challenging.” Jason Winlock stated, “The play at home he was called out when the umpire thought he left third too early”. Yes said Buddy, “Joey’s so fast the ump couldn’t believe he made it home before the throw so he made up the excuse. When the umps get used to Joey that won’t happen anymore. Joey’s so fast he didn’t even see him leave. We tried to showcase his speed on a fly to left later in the game”. Joey was on first and was all the way to third by the time the left fielder caught the ball. Joey had to retreat back to first and his little legs got him there just before the throw. Bell added, ” He’s so fast that when he gets up to turn off the lights he’ ll be back into bed before the light goes out.”

Two other rookies Gordon and Butler hit home runs. Bell said they are a product of their loosing ways. “We will have to watch how many games we win this year.
I told them not to swing just wait tell they get hit, but they are young and eager.
If were not the worst team we won’t be getting all those high can’t miss draft picks plus we will miss out on the revenue sharing. I have been told to not let that happen too often. I think we can tone it down a bit when the ex Cardinal Reggie Sander is available to play again.”

The fourth rookie, Tony Pena, has been doing well at short. “He replaced the Angel at short. He is hitting better than the Angel plus he makes a lot less money. We have a way of giving lots of money away to guys that can’t play.” Bell said.
“I can’t figure this stuff out, the more you make around here the worse you play.”

At least the Royals are starting to entertain. If Gath can get on base a little more we might see something being stolen on the diamond and it won’t be money.

The Royals and A’s had agreed to a trade that would have brought Milton Bradley to the Royals for relief pitcher Leo Nunez.  The trade wound up being voided by the Royals after a physical revealed a strained oblique muscle that Bradley injured in his last game with the Oakland A’s.  The Royals are probably better off without Bradley who is a talented player on the field and a difficult one to deal with off of the field.

The Royals have signed John Thomson to a 1-year contract and he will take over Scott Elarton’s spot in the Royals’ rotation.  Thomson has been rehabbing in the minors before he was released by the Blue Jays but he was consistently clocked in the 92-93 mph range by Royals’ scouts in his last minor league start.  The Royals felt that Thomson could help their team and didn’t see any downside on giving him a chance.  Thomson has pitched in 214 games (210 starts) in his major league career and he had compiled a 62-84 record with a 4.69 ERA and a 1.39 WHIP.  He has tossed 1259.2 innings in the majors and he has allowed 1385 hits, walked 366 batters and whiffed 797.

The Royals have placed starting pitcher Scott Elarton on the 15-day disabled list with a right foot sprain.  Hopefully his injury was the reason for his awful performance so far this season for the Royals.  Elarton started 8 games so far this season for the Royals and he was 2-3 with a 9.17 ERA and a 1.87 WHIP.  Elarton pitched 35.1 innings this season and he allowed 47 hits, 12 HOMERS, walked 19 batters and whiffed 12.  The Royals will likely send him on a long rehab assignment when he gets healthy to prove that he’s ready to help them when he gets back to the majors.